Chicago Bound…I hope

So I’m in the midst of planning a trip for Mike and I to Chicago to celebrate our 3-year anniversary (yay!!!) and his birthday (Aug. 1).  We are supposed to be leaving on Tuesday, July 29, after work and staying until Friday morning.  The hotel was recommended to my by Stacey Salas (who does a lot of recruitment in the Chicago area and has stayed at this hotel several times–which I don’t know how b/c it’s a category 6 hotel which is the most expensive!).  It’s a Renaissance (Marriott brand) so I can use my reward points.  It will cost about 78,000 points out of my total 145,000.  Not too shabby.

I also looked up transportation.  Stacey suggested that the best way to go, if we don’t want to drive into the city and pay parking garage charges (as high as $45/day!), it would be best to take the train (www.NICTD.com).  It’s very cheap (only about $30 for both of us, roundtrip!) and we can park my car for free at the station in Michigan City.  The train will drop us off right in downtown Chicago less than a mile from the hotel.  We can either walk from the station or we can catch a taxi.

The only bad thing is the timing.  If I get off of work on Tuesday and don’t make the earlier train time, we’re looking at leaving for Chicago around 9:30 PM EST and not getting into the city until about 11:00 PM.  When I told Mike this, he didn’t sound to happy.  He also brought up an apprehension about walking in the city that late at night (but it’ll be downtown, so it shouldn’t be that bad).  But like I said, we can always get a cab (which shouldn’t cost that much b/c it’s not that far away).

Then he brings up the point that he doesn’t even know what time he’ll have to work on that Tuesday, or what time he’ll be to my house for us to leave.  So in reality, we might not leave Holland until Wednesday morning.  I just hope that he finds out soon so that I can get this finalized and ready to go.

In other news…There have been lots of car purchases lately in our office.  The college “fleet” gets replinished about every 80-100,000 miles.  Linda had a Stratus but it started acting up and was reaching its age limit.  Turns out she got a blue Civic like Kat’s.  She didn’t really say anything about it (Linda is like that.  Very humble and not wanting to ruffle any feathers.  I’m not sure if Kristin got a new car, too.  They both started together so neither has seniority over another, so it would make most people upset if your colleague got a new car and you didn’t).  There was also some speculation that this new “blue” car might be Kat’s.  She’s on vacation right now so it’s hard to say.  I think that Amy and Adam are also looking to get new cars.  Adam currently drives Amy’s college car and she’s driving her personal car.  This was the arrangemnt when Adam came back until the fiscal year (July 1) started and new cars were purchased.  It looks like Adam might be keeping Amy’s old blue Stratus (it has low miles and he likes how fast it goes) while she gets a new Civic.

Garrett presented the biggest shocker when I returned from my mini-vacation.  I pulled into the parking lot yesterday morning, and as I was walking to the back door of the building, this really nice silver BMW Z4 soft top convertible Roadster pulled up behind my car.

Garrett’s New Car (though his is silver)

And lo and behold, it was Garrett!  I asked him later about it as I thought it might be a rental car and that his was in the shop or something, but nope, he bought it a few weeks ago.  This surprised me b/c he just got a new Honda Accord just a few months ago–he and Greg both.  I think he might be going through a (later) mid-life crisis or something.  I mean, he’s getting older, itching to retire, and has had another relapse of cancer.  I guess that now is as good a time as any to spend the money you’ve earned b/f time runs out.

One last thing before I go.  Yesterday we were all talking about ID4 vacations and such and Greg was talking about the trip he took with his wife and newborn to NY to see her folks.  I somehow mentioned the time when Christine (Greg’s wife) brought the baby to Qdoba for lunch.  It was fun to see the baby, but something bizarre happened.  The baby kept staring at me–I mean a serious, ominous, imploring stare.  It was so weird and made me kind of uncomfortable.  Carol (who was a part of this vacation conversation) said that it’s probably b/c he hasn’t seen many African Americans before and can notice the difference and was wondering about who I was. At first, I rejected the idea that at that age (he’s less than 8 months old) he would be capable of such high cognitive tasks.  But after thinking about it, it’s not too far fetched.  Even if he doesn’t understand the differences that he sees (ie, my skin color), he still does notice a difference, especially when all he’s been surrounded by his short little life are white faces.

It was also posited that my smile and voice could be things that he noticed as well.  Everyone agreed that I have a large, gleaming smile (well, my words not theirs).  And Carol said that I had a “resounding” voice.  People keep telling me this.  Greg concurred.  She elaborated by saying that her husband has a loud voice–he’s a coach–but the kind that could make little kids cry.  Where as my voice carries and fills a room.  People always tell me that I have a “radio voice” (does that mean they think I’m ugly?).

I kept thinking about this.  That word…resounding.  You know that phenomenon where when you think about somethign too much it starts not to make sense, or you question what you thought you knew about it?  Well, that’s what happened when the definition of the word “resounding” started to elude me.  So I decided to look it up.

RESOUNDING:

• making an echoing sound
• uttered loudly: resounding speech.
• impressively thorough or complete
• To be filled with sound; reverberate

…I think it’s nice to have a resounding voice ;-D

“Winning isn’t everything–it’s the ONLY thing.”

So I really had to make myself sit down and write a real post today.  I’ve been so busy and tired with studying for the GRE that I really haven’t felt like sitting down to type anything at the computer.

So, where to start?

I guess I can startr with the post that I added yesterday about the book that I finished reading–”The Kite Runner”.  Awesome read!  I would recommend it to anyone who likes historical fiction.  Never before have I read something about a part of the world that I know so little about.  It’s funny how the author says that the cities and events of his childhood were suddenly all over the news shortly after 9/11 and people were suddnely talking about it like they knew what was going on.  It shows just how sheltered we are in this world.  A really sobering and heartbreaking story about the cruelty that exists in this world–”man’s inhumanity toward man.”

Today was really exciting.  I had intended to get up to watch Breakfast At Wimbledon to catch the Men’s Tennis Championship.  But because I stayed up so late last night tinkering with my music, I had a hard time getting up.  Mike called me from work during one of his breaks, but I didn’t wind up getting up for real until around noon.  I figured that I had missed the match.  But when I flicked on the tube, I discovered that there had been a rain delay!  Good old rainly England   Turns out that the match lasted and lasted until right around 4:30 PM EST (9:30 PM England time), just before all the lights went out.

It was a great match!  The top two players in the world–No. 1 sede Roger Federer of Switzerland was defeated in a fifth set match with a score of 9/7 against No. 2 sede Rafael Nadal of Spain.  I think that Federer had won the last of five consecutive championships at Wimbledon, including the last few against Nadal.  This really was an epic battle and Federer was not going to give up his throne without a fight.  It seems like everytime you thought it was going to be over, someone would pull out a move that would ensure that play would continue.  But “Rafa” really wanted it and he got it.  You could tell that Roger was broken and it was hard for him to stay on the court and wait for the awards ceremony.  It’s constantly being said that Roger has amazing “grace” and that Rafael has amazing “humility”.  I would say that the latter is correct, but I get the distinct feeling from Federer that he has some feeling of entitlement and an arrogance that fills his aura.  I always seem to root for the underdog in these situations.  I’m glad that Nadal won.  Now the next time they meet at Wimbledon, Federer will really have something to fight for and not just expect that he will win.

On the women’s side, it was another amazing matchup, but I unfortunately didn’t get to see it (you guessed it–I was sleeping ).  No. 7 sede Venus Williams defeated little sister No. 6 sede Serena Williams in two staight sets.  I’m sure that there were some really great highlights from this match that I wil have to catch on YouTube.

After watching the Men’s final, some of the commentators said something about the Williams sisters that I found rang very true.  They are so unconventional, so diffrent from the rest of the field, that when they win, people don’t always feel that it’s legitimate–like the outcome has somehow been “rigged”.  They’re “unconventional” because they’re sisters, they’re African American, they are more athletic and less “dainty” than the other women; they did not come to the sport with trust funds from wealthy backgrounds and country clubs.  They were anomalies in every sense of the word.  So sometimes when they win, it’s very spectacular, but somewhat lackluster in terms of how it’s perceived.  I’m glad that they continue to win and show that they do belong in this sport dominated by people very different from themselves.

In other news…Like I said before, I have been studying for the GRE.  Mike has been on my case about finally figuring out when I want to take the test and really buckling down to study.  And I did just that.  I think that I want to take the test mid to late August.  This should give me enough time to get through all of the practice tests and really hone my skills on certain areas that I’m not so good at.  I looked at the GRE website, and it seems that there are still lots of days available for the timeframe that I’m looking at (there are still a lot of days around now, which I was surprised about).  So after I take the next test, I will see what date I really want to commit to.  The practice tests are much harder to get through than I imagined.  Each section (and there are six) lasts for about 30 minutes.  I have not been timing them–at this point, I just want to make sure that I know how to do the material, then later I will concentrate on speed.  I also skipped the writing sections figuring that I can read more about those later so that I can perfect my writing skills.  That shouldn’t be a problem.  In the meantime, I also need to continue building my vocabulary.  It feels good committing to this aspect of the study process for once and feeling like I”m going somewhat.  Complacency is so easy to get stuck in and so hard to get out of.  Thanks Mike for the swift kick in the pants!

Speaking of Mike, we have also been talking about this show called “30 Days” which is produced by the same guy who brought us “Supersize Me”–Morgan Spurlock.  This is an FX original series.  And like much of his work, this show is controversial.  Each show features someone stepping into the lives of people who hold opposite viewpoints from themselves with the hopes of learning and growing from the experience.  I have watched a couple of hour-long episodes so far:  Gay adoption and Life as a gay man.

The first one featured a woman from The O.C. who went to live with a gay married couple from Ann Arbor and their four adopted sons.  This lady was adopted, too, but she held very strong beliefs that it was wrong for gays to adopt and raise children, saying that in order to children to be healthy and happy they need to be in a two parent home consisting of a “mommy and a daddy”.  Even though she was faced with the changing structure of the American family, she held very strongly to her religious beliefs (surprising, huh?) that being gay is a sin as laid out in the Bible.  Sadly to say, this woman did not really come to any new conclusions about the ability of gay people to raise a family despite her only admission that the family that she witnessed was very warm and loving and a great environment for these kids.  Some people will never learn!

The episode that I watched tonight featured a 24-year-old conservative, straight, gun-carrying, white male from Oxford, Michigan (do I sense a Michigan theme here?  Is Moran Spurlock from Michigan?).  He was transplanted to Sanfrancisco–the Castro District (“the gayest place on earth”)–to see for himself what it was like to have a gay roommate and to see if being gay was as much of an “abomination” as the Bible tells him it is.  I’ happy to report that in this eposode (unlike the last one), the subject actually learns something and becomes a “dynamic character”.  He is able to dispell many of the stereotypes that he has about gay people after working in a cheese shop, catering a cheese and wine party, playing softball on a gay league, going to the gym, living with his rooommate, and speaking with the local lesbian minister.  Even though his veiwpionts weren’t totally changed, he did seem to have some huge epiphanies: “Gay people don’t choose to be gay anymore than straight people chooose to be straight”; “The Bible says that both homosexuality and murder are sins.  I was in the military and shot people and I own guns, but I somehow am able to reconcile killing with my beliefs, but not homosexuality.”  I loved the minister.  I want to go to her church.  She recommended a book to him in the show that they discussed that I plan to read: “What the Bible really says about Homoosexuality”.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

The Kite Runner

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Such and AMAZING read! So real, I almost feel transported to Afghanistan. The heartbreaking tale of two young boys from Kabul whose lives are bound together in more ways than they can ever imagine and how their destinies are forever linked.

What makes this book so amazing to me is how we as American’s have such a tenuous grasp of what goes on in this part of the world. Even when we think things are bad here, there are other existences that are so much worse. Homeless people here might fear about starving to death, but the homeless in Afghanistan might not only wonder where their next meal is coming from but also if they’re going to be shot by random gunfire or a bomb dropping.

This book startled me–the incredible capacity of human beings for hatred, greed, malice; but also our capacity to love, forgive, and see the good in others despite the hardships in our own lives.

Read this book. Definitely a page-turner!

View all my reviews.

Coming out at work

In my conversation with Kat this afternoon, we also spoke about Greg and how he tends to be a very thoughtful, cerebral person, but he also holds his cards close to the chest.  You never really can tell what he’s thinking.  I can’t think of a better example of that than the time that I wrote him an email telling him that I was gay.  We actually talked a lot about it and he seemed supportive and affirming.  But in retrospect, something that was misssing were any true feeling about how he viewed the situation.  In Kat’s assessment, he seems to be on this powertrip where he has to stay in control.  He will accept what you have to say, but he kind of leaves you hanging in a vulnerable position while his ego remains intact.  Here is the email that I wrote him.

September 13, 2007

Greg, I first want to thank you for listening to what I had to say this afternoon about our new colleague.  Thanks for taking what I had to say to heart and talking over those concerns with Bill.  He came and spoke with me and I feel 100% better about things and I’m glad that we were able to be open and honest about how we feel about these things.

Greg, thanks also for the conversation that we had yesterday morning in our supervisory meeting.  Thanks for taking the time to take an interest in my life and trying to see things from my perspective.  It meant a lot to me that you would thoroughly look through my photo albums and ask questions about my family.

I apologize for possibly painting a picture of doom-and-gloom about how I came to Hope.  I really do appreciate all of the opportunities that I’ve been given and I absolutely loved my time at Hope and I wouldn’t trade it for another.  As I said, I learned so much about myself and about others from my experience at Hope and it has been very instrumental in shaping who I am today.

My experience in Admissions thus far has been very similar. I enjoy telling people about the great aspects of Hope and helping them to discover similar experiences.

Thank you for challenging me to speak about myself.  And I apologize for handing out an invitation to get to know me more and then not following through.  But before I can put myself out there that far, I need certain assurances that what I say will not have adverse effects on my life (this would not be the first time I have been called a control freak).  You alluded to the idea that you might have met people who have been in similar situations before, so that makes me more confident in saying what I’m about to say.  I know that email is not always the best way, but as we discussed in our previous conversations, it allows me to better collect my thoughts and express the things that I really want to say.

As I told you in our meeting, I have been in a relationship for just a little over two years now, which started just before I began work in the Admissions office.  His name is Michael and he is a fifth-year senior at Central Michigan University studying French and Political Science. There were no pictures of him in the albums, but there is a small one in my office.

I’m sure that now, without a doubt, you can gauge why I was so hesitant to share this information but at the same want to be included in the celebration of relationships.  I feel like our relationship is a valid as any other.  Whenever I hear people speak out against gay marriage, I cry a little inside (and I think that they should read David Myers’ book on the subject).  I also wonder why people wouldn’t want us to be as happy as they are.  Religious beliefs aside, which everyone is entitled to, what makes our relationship so horrible?  It looks different, but the love that we share is as real as any other and I want to be acknowledged without feeling awkward, out of place, or taboo.

But living in this part of the country brings with it a certain culture.  It was not easy being a Black, Southern, non-Christian gay student at Hope (probably the biggest minority you can be).  Always having to hide who you are for fear of not being accepted…or worse (which I have unfortunately seen happen).  You live a double life, showing only certain aspects of your real self to the public, and desiring to always be alone because of how much effort it takes to split yourself all the time.  I feel much the same way in this office sometimes.  I love all of my colleagues, but there are times when I want to shake people for some of the things that they say, but yet I can’t say anything to them about it without showing my hand.  And as much as we desire and strive to paint the most positive picture for prospective families, I think it’s good to have a healthy dose of reality in the backs of our minds to remind ourselves that not everyone has a perfect experience here (but my reality on this subject is not everyone’s).  I try to use my experience to empathize with those who might need that extra support in their transition to college, Black, Southern or otherwise.  I know that the culture of the college is not going to change anytime soon, nor am I suggesting that it should.  And as much as I want to be “myself” and knowing that I should in order to be as fair to myself as others are being to themselves, I don’t because I know that I will make someone uncomfortable (not that this should be my biggest concern: people need to feel uncomfortable sometimes–it helps them grow).  But I don’t share more for fear of being alienated and creating for myself a negative office environment where I don’t feel welcome.  I just want people to get along (my Harmony strength).  But I also want people to have the desire to learn and grow.  So as much as we’re a “family”, it obviously only goes so far, not to say that it couldn’t go further.   How would people feel if I brought a picture of Michael and put it on my wall or used a picture of us as a background on my computer?  People do it all the time, but I’m sure that mine would probably be viewed differently.

So now you know everything.  I apologize for the rambling.  Thanks for listening.  If there is any advice that you have for me, I would gladly accept it.  Thanks for being a listening ear through all of this.  As is one of my “strengths”, I would love to talk about this further with you to get your perspective on things.  Have a great day and a great weekend!

–Travis

Funny Day (but not funny haha…more like funny ahhhhh!)

So today was pretty uneventful for the most part.  I went to an Email Campaign meeting from 8:30 to 10:30.  The strange part about that was that I was not originally invited to that meeting.  I was left out of a group of which I was an original member.  When it all went down a few weeks ago, I was kind of bitter, but today it was just kind of awkward.  I don’t think I’ll attend any future meetings.  My time would probably be better wasted in my office.

Lunch time after that.  Chatted with Mike on the computer.  He’s in Lake Orion for a couple of days visiting his folks.  Some of the only free days that he has off.  He works so much.  He went to Starbucks to work on some stuff for Dr. Eke and drink some free coffee.  It was nice to chat with him, even though we had a small argument over vacation time and stuff.  But that was resolved and we’ll try to work things out.  I’m so excited that I will be going to see him this weekend.  I looked at my calendar and realized that I have all of next week off for the 4th of July holiday.  I’ll probably stay in Mt. Pleasant until Tuesday, then just come back here and tidy up for the following weekend when Mike and Stacy come for a visit.  I will also try to get some studying done.  That should be good and productive.

The biggest drama came at the end of the day.  We had sort of a “staff meeting” to discuss our goals for the coming year in terms of recruitment and the types of students we should be going after and what we should do to accomplish those goals.  Really great conversation.  I miss staff meetings–the chance to engage and discuss issues with my colleagues.

At the end of the meeting, I think someone mentioned politics or something and Andrew was like, “I don’t like talking about controversial issues.”  I was so flabbergasted:  What had been said that put him off so much.  This is something that I have seen a lot from him.  He doesn’t seem to like to talk about anything “controversial” or outside of his comfort zone, almost to an absurd degree.  I am completely exasperated over it.  I have talked to no less than three of my colleagues about this.

After the meeting, at around 4:30, I went into Kat’s office to see if she wanted to chat about this.  Kat is definitely the therapist in our office (oh, btw, she told me that she was thinking about applying to go and get her Masters in Counseling this coming up year starting in January!).  People feel so comfortable going to her and talking about just about anything.  This time was no exception.

She posited some very valid arguments, chief among them being that maybe Andrew is intimidated by me and my willingness to engage people so (seemingly) fearlessly on controversial issues.  And this might be hard for him b/c of his background and what he knows and might not be comfortable talking about something with which he has such little experience.  He might also be afraid that he’s going to come off judgmental.  I would look at Andrew as being some who’s pretty steadfast and convicted in his beliefs and I would be no threat in unseating any of those beliefs, but that was an argument that came out of Kat’s and my conversation.  That was a really good talk.  We chatted for about an hour and a half!

I was determined to get to the bottom of this so I write Andrew and email and it went something like this:

Hey Andrew,

I hope that this finds you doing well and having a great evening.  I wanted to ask you something really quick, and you’re free to say no if you like.

I have been thinking about this for a while and kept trying to dismiss it, but my curiosity got the best of me.  After our “staff meeting” today you said something about not liking to talk about controversial issues.  I respect your stance, especially when there are so many views floating around out there that one might not want to step on any toes.  But if you don’t mind me saying, I feel like I don’t know you that well.  In an office culture where we emphasize family and getting to know our co-workers better, I feel like I have not done a great job.  Also in the spirit of diversity (in its myriad forms), I am very interested in learning from others and celebrating differences.

I know that certain issues can be hard to talk about especially if we are afraid of offending for lack of experience or ability to articulate.  But I feel like if we come together with a mutual understanding that discussion about differences can bring personal growth and understanding, we needn’t worry about offending anyone.  I also know that our office is unique in that the line becomes blurry when it comes to appropriate conversations in the workplace.  I am willing to speak with you outside of work if that works better for you.  My goal is not to make anything more awkward than it already is, I just want to come to a better understanding about who you are, where you’re coming from, and how we might be able to become better colleagues and friends.

If this is something that you’d like to pursue, great!  Just let me know and maybe we can go and get coffee sometime soon–my  treat!  If this makes you way too uncomfortable to discuss any further, I’ll understand that, too.  I just need some sort of acknowledgment that you’ve read this email and what your decision is.

Thanks so much for your consideration.  Have a great night and see you in the office

–Travis
(PS) I think that this email would be torn apart during the Email Campaign critiques…lol..way too long

I’m interested to see if he responds and what he will say.  If he does grant me an audience, I really want to get some good answers out of him as to what his thought processes are and where his belief system comes from and if he does have beef with me (ie, he’s homophobic).  I’ll let you know what I find out.

Today is a New Gay!

So today marks probably one of the most momentous events in this nation’s history:  The state of California has become only the second state in the nation (after Massachusetts) to issue marriage liscenses to same-sex couples!  Finally, we are slowly but surely gaining the same civil liberties afforded to all other Americans.  I am so happy.  It shows what I have said all along–that there is nothing that can be done to  stop the inevitable.  There is only so much that you can do to keep freedom away from people who truly deserve it like everyone else.  The same was true for slavery, then segregation, then interracial marriages, the right to vote for women and a host of other civil rights that we sometimes take for granted.  Which might not be such a bad thing.  Finding a thing like marriage so common-place that we take it for granted…now there’s a concept.  I can’t wait for that day.

The one discouraging thing that I’ve been hearing about this ground breaking ruling by California is that this may cause some backlash from the majority of Americans come the November election.  It is perceived that despite this decision in California, most of America (at least 50%) is still conservative and will take measures to stop this from happening in other states.  This includes but is not limited to voting for the Presidential candidate who most supports anti-gay values and voting to ammend the US Constitution in such a way to strictly define marriage as between a man and a woman.  It’s happened before and will likely happen again in light of recently high profile rulings.  I can only hope that American gains some sense before November.

Not too much is going on this week.  Just working a bit and trying to study for the GRE.  I need to do a bit more research on grad schools so that I can be prepared to apply in the fall and get ready to study for the subject test.

Extended Weekend

So I don’t have to go to work until 1:00 PM tomorrow b/c I am taking to comp time in the morning.  I picked up Garrett’s office coverage on Friday afternoon, and since I hadn’t taken my comp time for the week yet, I’m doing it tomorrow.  Usually, it’s suggested to take the comp time during the week in which it falls (you’re not supposed to defer it), but I still deserve it so I’m taking it.  Booyah!

I didn’t do a whole lot this weekend.  I watched a couple of movies and shows:

• Dante’s Cove:  A steamy, gay, supernatural show from Here! Productions.  It has everything I like: Sex, hot guys, gay characters, and witchcraft.  Who could ask for anything more!  The story line and acting is a bit weak at times, but I can handle that.  No biggie.
• The Eye:  Starring new mom and hottie Jessica Alba.  The story of a young, gifted, blind violinist who undergoes a cornea transplant to restore her vision.  Only her restored vision is not what she imagined.  Turns out, her eyes used to belong to a Mexican girl who could see the future deaths of those around her.  Now Alba is haunted by these spirits and has to find out what it all means, complete the donor’s request, and keep from going insane.  In the end, she saves the day but looses her sight again.  But her life is “back to normal” so to speak.
• Jumper: Starring Hayden Christiansen.  Not sure what to make of him yet.  He’s kinda hot, but in a boyish, good-looking, twink sort of way.  Not really my type, but I’d do him.  The story of a young boy growing up in an abusive single-parent home where his mom left at an early age.  When he’s around 12-years-old, he discovers that he can “jump” to anywhere he has seen before; essentially teleporting.  It’s funny, in the beginning, he keeps going to the Ann Arbor public library and getting everything all wet.  This happens to him several times before he gets it right.  He’s entangled with middle-school sweetheart turned hottie The O.C. veteran, Rachel Bilson.  There is an elite group of hunters whose mission is to capture and destroy Jumpers based on the idea that they believe that these people, unrestrained by rules, will eventually become corrupt and destroy civilization.  One of the hunters is Samuel Jackson.  We come to find out later that another hunter is his mother, played by the incomparable Diane Lane.  Great story, but under-developed for my taste.  I give it three stars.

I didn’t do a whole lot today–Ran out of DVDs, lol!  I ran to the store for fresh provisions for the week. Tidied up the kitchen a bit.  Made dinner:  Pasta, Shrimp and Italian sausage, and a citrus butter sauce.  The sauce needs some work, but it was fine overall.

After dinner, I decided to make the round of phone calls, it being Father’s Day and all.  I always dread buying gifts and calling people on birthdays and holidays.  I’m not a gift-giving kind of person.  I really hate it.  If I never had to buy another gift, except for Mike, I would be in heaven.  But my grandma says that I’d be sad if people stopped giving me gifts.  I beg to differ.

And it’s one thing to give a gift to people who are gracious and deserving, but my stepdad, Thomas, is neither.  He seems to have this idea that somehow he’s entitled, like I’m somehow endebted to him.  I lived with him for 4 yours after he and my mother were married at the end of my freshman year in high school.  It’s been seven years since I graduated from high school.  If that weren’t enough, I think those years having to live with him more than repays my “debts” not to mention all of the gifts that I have bought for him over the years.

Apparently, Grandma talked to mama earlier today and she said that she had heard from Mike and his own kids and now was only waiting on me.  She wanted to make sure that I didn’t forget and that I knew what day it was.  No, I didn’t forget what day it was!  I usually try to wait until after dinnertime when I know that most activities are over and people are at home and able to receive my call.  My call should be a privilege to receive, not a requirement.  Afterall, he’s not my dad!  I owe him nothing.  And to top it all off, when I did call, no one answered.  I just got the machine and left a message.  I didn’t call back and no one called me.  As far as I’m concerned, I’ve done my part.  Ball’s in his court now.  I even sent a card and said so in my message.  He probably won’t get it until tomorrow or Tuesday.  I sent Grandpa one, too, with chocolates.  But I wasn’t going to send any to Thomas.  He needs to be on a diet anyways.  Things usually take longer to reach VA than other places, but I’m not worried and I don’t care.    Ahhh, makes me crazy.

Granny et al keep asking when I’m coming.  I  may not come this summer, especially with gas prices as they are.  They are willing to help me pay for gas, but they understand if I can’t come.  I also have been saying that I might not come due to stuff going on at work and vacation time, etc.  But I kinda just don’t wanna go this summer.  It’s hot down there, lots of bugs, people are at work during the day, nothing to do.  I wanted Mike to go with me so that we could explore Savannah together, but he has such a hard time getting time off from work and he’s made it abundantly clear to me that he needs this summer to save up money for grad school in the fall so he can’t take a lot of time away from work.  I understand, but it would have been fun.  He actually told me today he he and Stacy finally decided when they were going to come to my apartment to visit together: the weekend of July 11.  I’m excited for that, even though it’s our anniversary and I would prefer for Stacy not to be there.  But oh well.  I hope that it’s nice weather so we can go to the beach!

One last thing before I go.  I finally finished the book that I was reading: “Black Like Me” by John Howard Griffin.  It’s about a white man in 1959 who decides to take medication to turn himself black so that he can go into the Deep South and see exactly what it’s like to be a black man.  He gets much more than he bargains for and discovers that the experience not only changes his external appearance, but that he undergoes an internal psychic change as well.  Powerful, gripping narrative in journal entry style al-la Anne Frank.  Very good.  I recommend it to anyone trying to better understand race relations.  That’s it for now.  More later.

Found while surfing:

So we know how much work I get done while I’m at work (*wink*wink*). So I was on FaceBook and saw that Amy had sent me a piece of flair. It’s kind of like the bumper sticker program, but cuter and more pleasant looking (not to mention that it doesn’t take up as much space on your page). I’m so addicted now.

Then I was on DList and saw this picture that made me laugh:

I found that I have totally an input personality (according to Strengths Finder 2.0). This means that I like to surf the net finding interesting/useful information that I intend to put to some use in the future. For instance, I’m on a committee where my job was to do “research” to find out about what other schools are doing to address how best to recruit students from diverse backgrounds. So I went to Inside Higher ED and basically read articles all day and took notes until I was almost blind. I learned a lot and got lots of good notes. But whether or not I’ll actually ever use this information remains to be seen.

I’m still trying to decide which blog platform is my favorite. I have accounts at LiveJournal, Xanga, WordPress, Vox, and Blogger. I think that I’m officially going with WordPress. Out of all of the platforms, it seems to have the most comprehensive list of features (though I don’t know how to use many of them). It’s been a pain, however, migrating posts from the other platforms. I guess I’ve only actually done this with LJ so far, so I guess it’s too soon to say. I guess that I make this assessment based on how I basically couldn’t export posts from Vox. Bummer. Oh well, I only had like 7 posts anyway, so I guess it won’t be too hard just to cut-and-paste.

Well, I guess that’s it for now. I will update more later and talk about my book!

Move Time!

So I’m heading to Mt. Pleasant today after work to help Mike and Stacy move to their new house. Anything’s got to be better than where they live now. As I was telling a colleague of mine, the cleanliness and comfort of this new place will be determined in large part by how well they choose to maintain it. It’s totally up to them. This place doesn’t have a good air conditioner, so it’ll be much “warmer” this summer. I have also been on Mike about coming to visit me. He came to help me move, but he hasn’t been back since. I understand that he has to work and doesn’t have as flexible of a work schedule during the weekend like I do, but I need for him to come and see my place now that it’s all clean and livable.

While there this weekend, we are going to a graduation party for one of his gay friend’s nieces (???). I’m not sure what the real connection is there–a bit fuzzy on that. But I’m just relishing the chance to get out of the house and away from Stacy for a bit. I need to meet his other friends and have some time away from Stacy.

One more thing

So the other day when I made my post about Mike, I forgot to mention a couple of things. For a person so “experienced” (yeah, you know what I mean), Mike has a very “vanilla” love-making style. That’s not bad, just a bit surprising. He is absolutely turned off by anything that strays from the “norm”. Which includes sex toys, dildos, dirty talk, leather, spanking, etc. He likes missionary and doggy style positions and no talking.

The other night when we were about to have sex, I let him know that I hadn’t been “practicing” so I might be a bit tight down there so he should go slowly. As I said before, he wasn’t really in the mood to have sex and I was kind of forcing him. I had to rub him a bit to get him hard. He put on the condom and tried to ram his penis into my ass! Ouch! When I complained about this and told him to go slower, he was totally turned off and basically said that he’d prefer if I were quiet and not so emotional. He wanted to try to keep doing but at that point I was totally disconnected and had to stop. It was not fun at all.

I hope that we can reach a place where we can have sex naturally and passionately w/o all of these hangups.